Wedding Etiquette: Invitations

By offthechartentertainemnt
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22 Aug, 2017
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When it comes to issuing wedding invitations, you may have a lot of questions. Here are some commonly asked questions regarding invitation etiquette.

When it comes to issuing wedding invitations, you may have a lot of questions. After all, this is probably the most formal event that you’ve ever had to invite people to, and weddings are full of emotion, nostalgia and meaning. People can get their feelings hurt over not getting an invitation, getting an invitation too late, or even the way you word your invitations! Here are some commonly asked questions regarding wedding invitation etiquette, along with what the experts have to say on the matter:

When should I send out my wedding invitations?
Customarily, wedding invites should go out six to eight weeks in advance of the wedding. This will give your guests enough time to plan to go, but it won’t be so early that they’ll forget about it before your big day comes. There are a few exceptions: If you’re planning on getting married very close to or on a major holiday, or if you are planning a destination wedding where guests will have to arrange travel, then six to eight weeks might not be enough notice. In this case, it’s best to send “save the date” cards about six months in advance of the date, then follow up with the actual invitations at the traditional time.

Who should be the host of the wedding, as far as wording goes?
Most wedding invitations specify who is inviting the guests to the wedding. If you and your fiance are paying for the wedding yourself, it’s fine to say, “John and Sarah invite you to share their joy as they exchange wedding vows....” If, on the other hand, one or both sets of parents are footing the bill, your invitation should read, “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith invite you to the wedding of their daughter, Mary, to Bob....” or, “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and Mr. and Mrs. William Brown invite you to the wedding of their children....” Even if you are paying for the wedding on your own, you might choose to word the wedding invitations in a way that honors your parents. Of course, you could also honor your grandparents or another relative, if that’s applicable to your situation. Talk to the people involved before having the invitations printed to avoid hurt feelings and unpleasant surprises.

How can we tell guests where we are registered?
It is against all rules of good etiquette to include a registry card with wedding invitations or save-the-date cards. Instead, you can include this information on your wedding website, if you have one. It’s acceptable to include a card with the wedding website with the invitation. Another option that has stood the test of time is to simply inform your wedding party about your registry. If people want to know where you are registered, they will know to ask your bridal attendants.

What if we want to have an adults-only wedding?
Some bridal couples choose to have their ceremony or reception be adults-only. General etiquette dictates that only the guests specifically named on a wedding invitation are actually invited, so if you invite Mr. and Mrs. Joe Taylor, then they should know that their children are not invited. If, when receiving RSVP cards, you see that someone has written in the names of their children, it’s acceptable for you to call and let them know that you’re having a child-free event.

What if we want to invite a single person, but not his or her guest?
This is another case of counting on your guests to know that only those named on the invitation are invited, and should be handled the same way as those trying to bring unaccompanied children. Of course, when feasible, you should always include the serious partners of your friends and family members; include them by name on the invitation. If you have a guest who might want to bring along a partner but you are not sure of his or her name, feel free to call and ask for the correct spelling so that you can include it on the invitation.

Can I invite someone to only the ceremony, or only the reception?
If you invite someone to your ceremony, they are automatically invited to the reception. To do otherwise would indicate that you were not interested in having them celebrate with you, and that would be rude. The reverse isn’t necessarily true, however. It’s acceptable to have a very small, private ceremony and then invite a larger crowd to the reception. This really should only be done if you’re having a destination wedding or if you are really only having your parents and one witness each at the ceremony; don’t leave only one particular group of people out of your ceremony.

Try not to stress out over your wedding invitations. When in doubt, simply try to do what you would want done if you were the person being invited, keeping in mind that it’s your wedding, and that you get to decide who is invited.