What to Expect From Your Fiancé When Planning a Wedding

Congratulations on your engagement! Whether it was a long time coming, an expected formality after years of dating, or a complete surprise, your engagement is an exciting time filled with all sorts of wedding planning! From flowers to the cake to your dress and more, your thoughts are likely to be consumed with every detail of your upcoming special day. There’s just one little problem: Your fiance doesn't seem to care half as much as you do! Does this mean that he’s having some regrets over popping the question? Not at all! Men are wired differently from women, and most of them don’t get all wrapped in the fluff and fun of choosing colors and visiting venues.

Think about it: if he has asked you to marry him, then he’s ready to be in for the long haul. He may have considered popping the question for months; during this time, he’s devoted a lot of time and energy to determining whether he wants to be married to you forever. Once the ring is on your finger, he’s able to breathe a sigh of relief: You’ve said yes! The hard part is over for him. Now comes the part where he waits a while, then shows up in a rented tux to make it all official. All of the little details will fall into place, right? After all, women love weddings, and they’ll handle it. This very well may be his thought pattern, so during the early weeks of your engagement, when your mother and your best friend are joining you in squealing and finding wedding planners and seamstresses, he may be oblivious and nonchalant.

Yes, it’s a stereotype, but most guys don’t care whether you choose soft pink, blush, champagne or touch-of-peach for your bridesmaids dresses. Your guy might not know or care about the difference between the different varieties of roses, and he can’t differentiate between all of the different silverware patterns that you’re showing him enough to make a decision for your registry. All of this wedding talk might be making his head spin. Ask him his opinion, and if he looks at you the way you might look at him when he asks you which brand of oil you prefer for your car’s oil change, let it go.

If your fiance is brushing off every mention of the Big Day, then it’s time for a chat. It’s not only your wedding, after all! He should be willing to provide some opinions on some things. For example, my husband planned our honeymoon with just a bit of input on my part, and he was also into choosing music, tasting entrees and deciding on our wedding cake design. If your guy is letting you control everything, it might be because he thinks you want it that way. You’re going to have to get used to compromise and balancing both of your desires for the rest of your lives, so you might as well start now. Decide what is important to each of you and divvy up the details.