Top 5 Ways to Get Along With Your Mother-in-Law

By offthechartentertainemnt
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30 Aug, 2017
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Even if your relationship with your spouses is not good right now, you can fix it. Here are some tips on fostering closeness and understanding.

It’s a cliche, to be sure, but one with some truth to it: Brides often have tumultuous relationships with their mothers-in-law. It may be that your new husband’s mom doesn’t think anyone could be good enough for her baby, or it might be that you’re replacing her as the numero uno woman in his life; whatever the reason, tension between wives and moms-in-law has been around long enough to make it a universally understood issue. The good news is that you can have a wonderful relationship with your husband-to-be’s mother, even if you’ve gotten off to a rocky start. Here are some tips on fostering familial closeness and understanding.

Schedule Some Girl Time
It’s hard to get to know someone without spending time with them, and your mother-in-law is no exception. Make an effort to get to know her by asking her to lunch, inviting her along to get a manicure with you, or asking her to help you with a project around the house. Try to find out about the person she is, her experiences, her hobbies and her likes and dislikes.

Include Her
While wedding-planning is a time that many brides want to share with their own moms, let her in on some of the preparations, with or without your mother; this will help her to feel less left out and more motherly toward you. So ask her to join you and your mom and best friends while you try on wedding gowns, and ask her advice on the flowers that you’ll use on your special day.

Kill Her With Kindness
If your mom-in-law seems to have a vendetta against you, try not to take it personally. Chances are, she’s mourning the loss of her role in her son’s life, and that it has little to do with you as a person. Head off nastiness at the pass by bringing her dessert, complimenting her on the dress she’s wearing, or having coffee ready for her when she comes over. In short, pretend that you don’t know that she seems not to like you.

Ask Your Future Husband to Step In... If Necessary
It’s best if you don’t drag your hubby-to-be into squabbles with his mom, but if she’s treating you with blatant disrespect or making rude comments consistently, it’s time for a mother-son chat. Ask him to gently remind her that while she’s important in his life, you are going to be his wife and family now. Also, encourage him to ask her not to make him choose between the two most important women in his life. You shouldn’t be present for this discussion, nor should you ever mention it to her.

Accept Reality
It may be that your mother-in-law and you will never be close friends, and that’s okay. It is said that when you marry, you gain a new family, but there is no law that says that you must get along swimmingly with everyone in your -- or your husband’s -- family. Treat her civilly and be nice, but if you find yourself bending over backward trying to impress her, then it might be time to cut your losses and decide that a surface relationship with her is best.

The time to set the stage for a great relationship with your mother-in-law is now. Nipping tension in the bud can lay the framework for a healthy family dynamic later, when grandchildren arrive, and then when she needs extra care during her later years. Have the expectation that you’ll get along, and most likely, you will!