If difficult family members are making it hard for you to enjoy your wedding planning, here are some tips on dealing with them without causing more stress.
There’s something about wedding-planning that brings out people’s needs to give their opinions about everything. Some might say that this is to prepare you for the inevitable nosiness that will occur once you begin having children with your beloved, but nevertheless, unsolicited advice is annoying at best, and highly stressful at worst! Your family wants to see you have a lovely day, but their idea of lovely and your idea of lovely may be two different things. This can be compounded by the awkwardness of refusing advice from relatives that might be contributing financially to your day. If difficult family members are making it hard for you to enjoy your wedding planning, here are some tips on dealing with them:
Pick your battles
If your dad has had his heart set on dancing to Butterfly Kisses
with you for the past ten years but you were thinking more along the lines of the Beatles’ Take Good Care of My Baby
, then it might be worth considering who it means more to. Yes, it’s your wedding, but giving in on something relatively small just might make your dad happier than insisting on your own way would make you.
Put your foot down when it counts
On the other hand, there are just some things that are too important to allow someone else to dictate. If you and your fiance are vegetarians, for example, and it’s important to you not to serve meat at your wedding reception, then don’t hesitate to do what you wish, despite your future mother-in-law’s insistence that she must have prime rib.
Recognize that money has power
If your parents are paying for your wedding, then they’re going to have to have some input. It’s not fair to expect them to pick up the tab while not making any compromises. If something is very important to you and they’re being difficult, then you may have to find a way to pay for it yourself or find a less expensive alternative.
Give everyone a part.
Some meddling family members may just want to be part of the action. You have a ton of things to do, so if someone is being bothersome, ask if they mind taking over a chore. Aunt Jean really might be thrilled to make appointments with florists or photographers for you, and if your fiance’s cousin Maud is a hairdresser, then by all means ask her to do your hair and that of your bridesmaids. Being needed makes people feel good.
Just try to de-stress and not worry about the little things.
Remember, this is just one day; the important thing is how you relate to these people, along with your soon-to-be spouse, for the rest of your life. Don’t get sucked into the trap of being labeled a “bridezilla”; make compromises where you can and if you feel your blood pressure rising, take a breather and come back to whatever the issue is on another day.
Staying calm and treating everyone respectfully, even when they’re getting on your last nerve, is important. Remember that weddings are stressful for everyone: Your parents are seeing their baby enter the last rite of adulthood, your in-laws are getting ready to welcome you as a member of their family, and everyone else loves you and has a vested interest in your happiness. Try to put aside any hard feelings and focus on the good things to make your wedding day a success!