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How to Choose Your Bridesmaids

  • By offthechartentertainemnt
  • 22 Aug, 2017
How to Choose Your Bridesmaids
The day you’ve been waiting for is here: You’re engaged! Here are some considerations to keep in mind when it comes time to choose your bridesmaids.
The day you’ve been waiting for is here: You’re engaged! You’ll want to call your best friends right away, of course, and they’ll squeal and be happy for you, as they should be. Some of them, however, will be waiting for what they expect to come next: an invitation to be in your bridal party.
Some brides-to-be have been planning their special day for months or years before the engagement and already know who they will ask to be their maid of honor and bridesmaids. Others, however, aren’t quite sure.
Here are some considerations to keep in mind when it comes time to choose your bridesmaids:
  • Consult with your fiance first
    You don’t necessarily have to clear your choices with him, of course, but you do need to decide how many attendants you’ll have. Most bridal couples choose to have the same number of ushers and bridesmaids. This isn’t a hard-and-fast rule; you can have more attendants than he does. In general, though, you’ll want to avoid having a dozen of your nearest and dearest backing you up while he only has his best man and one or two additional friends. Also, if you’re planning a destination wedding, you might want a smaller bridal party. If you’re only having a couple dozen guests, your bridal party will likely be smaller than if you are inviting 500 of your closest friends. See if you can come to an agreement on a number that makes sense for you, your venue and your wedding.

  • Keep family ties in mind
    Maybe your sister or your soon-to-be sister-in-law is your best friend. If that’s the case, that’s great! If you have strained relations with siblings, however, you might be hesitant to include them as your bridal attendants. Take a long, hard look at how that is likely to affect family dynamics now and in the future before leaving them out, though. You don’t have to ask anyone who makes you uncomfortable, but it might be worth it to keep the peace. In many families, asking one sister and not another, or your sisters but not your sisters-in-law might be cause for a feud that lasts for years.

  • Consider your friends’ lifestyles, but don’t make assumptions
    Let’s face it: Being a bridesmaid isn’t inexpensive, and it takes up a lot of time. If you have a close friend whom you know is struggling to pay her electric bill, it can be difficult for you to knowingly ask her to spend hundreds of dollars being in your wedding. Still, it can be more difficult to leave her out by not even asking. Think ahead of time about whether you can help her with the financial aspects, and if so, think of a way to gently ask if she’d consider that option. If you can’t help her in that way, ask her in a way that allows her to bow out gracefully, by saying that you understand if she is unable to commit right now. The same strategy would work if you have a close friend who lives far away, who has just had a baby or who is constantly working on her own business. Let your busy friends say “no thank you” if they’d rather not be part of the bridal party.

  • Don’t be afraid to break the rules
    You can have different numbers of bridesmaids and groomsmen, even if it’s not typically done. You can also have a man as your honor attendant, if you have a brother or close male friend who you know would take the role seriously and be your biggest support. You can even have two maids of honors if you can’t choose just one. This is your wedding, so you can do things however you want.
Remember, the role of your bridal attendants is the support you as you get ready for and take part in the happiest day of your life. Choose women (or men!) who will be supportive and help you prepare to get married. Try not to get bogged down in choosing bridal attendants; do what feels right, and then don’t worry about it. It’s possible that someone might feel miffed, but hopefully all feelings will be smoothed over by the time that you walk down the aisle.
 
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